Loolyville, Part 1

On the way back from Virginia last March, we stopped in in Louisville for about 48 minutes to eat and pee. The only time I'd been there before was to go to the Louisville Slugger factory, on another trip where I was just passing through. But based on those two short visits, I learned two things:
1. Louisville is loaded with places 3-year-old boys would like.
2. Louisville has Skyline Chili.

That (and enough Drury and Marriott points to score two free hotel rooms) was enough for us. Off to Louisville (note: very early in the trip Jefferson started calling it Loolyville)! Before we left town Jefferson got a Tag reading system. It came with The Cat in the Hat. You aim that pen at things on the page and magic happens. As you can see, it requires concentration.












Early Monday morning we headed for the Louisville Slugger Museum/Factory. Well, it wasn't early enough, because we had to park on the roof of the parking deck.












The museum will let you hold a game used bat, provided you wear disgusting germ-ridden gloves. Last time I held Mickey Mantle's bat. This bat was used by Johnny Bench ... of The Baseball Bunch. Duh! Note: Jefferson + filthy gloves = bliss.












Look, the head on this dummy looked more like My Cousin Vinny than Teddy Ballgame. This photo is titled: "The Two Yutes."









We asked them to make a bat with Jefferson's name on it, but when we picked it up it said "Opie Taylor."












The view from the ground.












This was a tense moment in the tee ball cage in which Jefferson and Mom reenacted the Cardinals/Reds melee from a last week, with Jefferson playing the role of Brandon Phillips and Mom playing Yadier Molina. Jefferson had earlier told the media that Mom was a stinkerbug. Mom took issue. I fined them both and we ate lunch in silence.












We finished our tour of the Slugger Museum with Jefferson auditioning to be one of those goofy kids modeling clothes in the JC Penney catalog. Weird, right?









Arrgh, ye mateys! (stay tuned for part 2)

Carnies, carnies everywhere.

We made it to the Ozark Empire Fair again this year. We took about three photos before the batteries died in the camera. But it's 2010, you say. Someone at the fair will be selling AA batteries. Stop being a know-it-all jerk, I say. You could buy 9-volt (?) or D batteries (?!), but not AA. We bought a crummy disposable camera. I actually ended up liking the grainy quality of the photos. It matches the grainy quality of the fair. Despite the oppressive heat (behold my pit-stains!), the day was full of thrills and chills.













Jefferson is a creature of habit. Just like his old man. He wanted to do the things he did last year. Like eat ice cream,










scoop ducks,










peek through Spongebob's window,










and ride this bee.










With a pioneer spirit and love of adventure, he embarked on a few new experiences. A roller coaster...










Note the girl in front of Jefferson. Chillin'.










I think they've had this crappy motorcycle thing since I was a kid. He really did have a look of buyer's remorse on his face by the second revolution. Yes, boy. That's all it does. It was an enormous let down after the crococoaster.













Sometimes Lewis needs Clark, so I accompanied him on the slide. I regretted the instant we started climbing the steps. It was terrifying for a number of reasons. First, any carnival ride is scary when you consider how hastily constructed it must of been. This thing was used at the Bellevue Peach Festival and Barn Dance or something last week. Then they took it down, loaded it on a truck and put it back up here. Nobody called Bob Vila, you know what I mean? Second, we became incrementally more airborne after each drop. Finally, look at that kid in the middle lane. While Jefferson and I were getting situated, he climbed the steps and went down the slide. Fine. Except, look at his left hand. He started to stand up in our lane and I was convinced that we were going to kill him. There was no way for us to stop, so I just closed my eyes and assumed that everything would be fine. It was.













Until next year...

Summer 2010: Aqualad

In the incredibly fun Batman: The Brave and the Bold cartoon series, Aquaman is portrayed as a lovable blowhard. In this family, he is portrayed by Opie impersonator and all around goofball Jefferson.
He got a little less tentative dunking his head every day. He didn't really want to get his awesome hair wet.
I stared at this photo for several minutes before I realized who it reminded me of. GAH!
On the last day of swimming lessons, they let the kids jump off the diving board. Sort of (see below). But the unknown is scary, especially when you're a little squirt.
What actually happens is a swim teacher gently lowers the kids into the pool ...
... into the trusted arms of another swim teacher. This guy was Jefferson's favorite.
The second time, he was a little more eager.
He felt proud.
Every day at the end of the swim lesson, one of his teachers would chase him around the pool and squirt water on him. He hated/loved it.

Summer 2010: More Miscellaneous

In May we met superstar DC Comics artist Ethan Van Sciver at our local Comic Con. The promoter (Ken) took him to dinner when he arrived to Cape. Ethan had seen Lambert's on Food Network and wanted to go there. Somehow, I ended up going and talking comics while dodging airborne bread. As you can see, Jefferson took a shine to Ethan.
In the span of a month, the Warriors Three experience the following: Christmas; the Mom's birthday; our anniversary; Jefferson's birthday; and my birthday. It all gets a little diluted, so we decided to have a little half-birthday party for Jefferson this year. It was really just an excuse to make cupcakes.
These cupcakes are the recipe of the Magnolia Bakery, referenced here.
Jefferson has a new piece of material in which he says: "Hey dad... look at my face." Then he makes the face featured below. He holds it until you laugh. The fact that he does this without cracking a smile is a little scary. Don't play make me laugh with this kid.
His half-birthday present was a Batman computer with learning games. If you see him, don't tell him the games are for learning. For now they just seem fun. When you get the correct answer, Batman says: "Great job!"
He's getting to be such a big boy, it's hard to see the babyface. I see it here.

Spring/Summer 2010: Miscellaneous

When raising a boy, it's important to nurture the hunter/gatherer instinct. The last thing we want to do is unleash another namby pamby, entitled milksop onto a culture increasingly defined by such characters. We don't wrestle bears or harpoon our dinner anymore. Fortunately, Easter provides a good gathering opportunity.
Success!
I like this photo for two reasons. One is the smile on the boy's face. You figure out the other one.A few months ago, the boy discovered Imagination Movers. As far as toddler shows go, it's actually pretty decent. The dialogue is pretty funny and some of the songs are shockingly good. Jefferson has a pair of "wobble goggles" just like his favorite character.
It's time to start pulling some weight around here, chief.
He really is such a good boy. He wants to help whenever possible, especially when making a mess is possible. This usually takes mess-making from possible (Defcon 3) to an absolute certainty (Defcon 1). He's making waffles (note: photo of floor unavailable).
One night he helped make salad.
Dude got into it.
He was awfully proud of himself.
So were we.
I'm not sure what this is.

Chicago, April 2010

Every April I attend the annual conference of the Midwest Political Science Association in Chicago. It's held at the Palmer House, which is nice, but not $230/night nice. For the first time, the Warriors Three embarked on this quest together. We took Amtrak. Quite simply, Amtrak is a government subsidized leper colony. Don't get me wrong, I once understood the romantic ideal of rail travel. Then I rode Amtrak. But by the time you've driven 2 hours to the airport, waited an hour or more in the airport, flown for an hour, and and taken a 45 minute (and $40) cab ride to the Chicago loop, your train would just about be pulling into the station. Six hours is a long time to be confined in one place (especially that place), but we made the most of it. We ate Goldfish crackers.
We played "see-food."
We laughed at our own jokes.
We tuckered ourselves out.
I had to attend panels, present a paper, and generally behave as if I belong to this profession. Eventually we made it to the Field Museum. The line only had about 4 people in it, but it somehow took like 20 minutes to get admitted. Chicago!
But I have to admit, it was worth it. Holy Crap!! T-REX!!
This thing was disgusting.
I was recently shopping for comfy chair for my office. No one was selling the fossilized dinosaur track chaise lounge. Looks cozy.
After this we went to the Shedd Aquarium, which took even longer to get in (about 45 minutes) and cost about $80 for the three of us. Chicago!! We didn't end up with any photos because a) it was too dark for decent photos and b) I was still ticked off about the $80 thing. Honestly, it was pretty good and Jefferson clearly preferred it to a natural history museum where the exhibits are all dead.