5th Birthday Party 2012: Bounce House Edition

A 5 year old boy ought to have a rad birthday party. We settled on the "bounce house" (Jefferson's term) as a location. We asked Jefferson what sort of party he wanted. With all the excitement surrounding the Cardinals Caravan, Jefferson settled on Cardinals/baseball as a theme. Behold: the cupcakes. (Note the model baseball in the background.)









Jefferson is a shockingly easygoing dude. By the end of last summer, we lived in a different house, went to a different church, and Jefferson started a new school. He adapted happily and quickly to all of it. When we asked him who he wanted to invite to his party, he mentioned his pre-k class. He also insisted we invite Landon and Ella, friends from his old daycare. Having not seen either of them for 5 months, we wondered how this would go. This is how it went. Mom overheard them all talking about how they missed each other.









The birthday boy gets to sit in a big inflatable throne. It's big and lonely in that throne. Bring a buddy.









As it turns out, this party was extremely cruel. Right outside the door was the bounce house. But we made them wait around until all the kids arrived and they'd had some cupcakes. Look at the crazy anticipation on these mugs.









There's a Seinfeld in which George is upset that his fiance Susan is interacting with Jerry, Elaine and Kramer. Worlds collide. We wondered what would happen when worlds collided at the bounce house. Answer: nothing. New school on the left, old school on the right.









That's me surveying the wreckage in the background .









Here's what you do. Sugar these kids up. I know that seems counter intuitive, but it works. It led to a furious, frantic pace in the bounce house. But Jefferson burned out after about an hour and a half. Then it was naptime. What about sugaring up the rest of the kids, you say? Not my problem.









All the kids brought Jefferson excellent gifts. Here's Landon opening the gift he got for Jefferson.









That extend-a-claw was the hit of the party.









All of the kids and most of the adults tried it out.









These kids all have a similar expression on their faces. Is it confusion or concern?









This is the only photo we took of Jefferson in the bounce house. His face was the color of his shirt and from this point on he was just a red blur running from one inflatable monstrosity to the next.









Happy birthday, buddy!

Cardinals Caravan 2012: "Fredbird stole my hat" Edition

The Cardinals Caravan stopped in Cape Girardeau tonight. It was Jefferson's first (mine too). I told him it would be fun. He was skeptical.












Honestly, he had good reason to be skeptical. The first half hour of the program consists of the players and alums doing quick pep talks about how awesome the Cardinals are. Regardless, skepticism eventually turned to boredom.









But everything changed once we got in the autograph line. It turns out you get in line according to your ticket number. We had tickets 9, 10 and 11, so we were in the first group. These guys were in Jonesboro, Arkansas, earlier today. It looks like it took a toll. You can see Cardinals alums Cal Eldred, John Mabry, and Rick Horton. Lance Lynn is on the other side of the mic. I started some crap by asking Cal Eldred who the most annoying Cardinals broadcaster was and he pointed at Rick Horton. Fun.









Jefferson played it cool with these guys. I reminded him on the way there that he needed to say "thank you" to these guys and he said: "I know, dad. They're famous baseball players."












I'm asking Rick Horton what is was like playing for Tommy Lasorda. I've always had a soft spot for Tommy since I grew up watching the Baseball Bunch. He said Tommy was great, but I've seen some NSFW Youtube videos that make me wonder.









Here's Jefferson and Tyler Greene.









Well, the longest line was for Fredbird. In all honesty, Fredbird was great.












This photo took about 4 attempts and 2 solid minutes as Fredbird kept pulling his shirt over Jefferson's head or stealing his hat.












Finally Jefferson believed what I'd said about the Cardinals Caravan being fun.

Halloween 2011: "Holy Batman, Batman" Edition

When Jefferson was too young to know better, I picked his Halloween costumes for him. I planned to have him dressed as the whole Justice League by the time he 8 or 9. He was Flash then Superman. Then he got a mind of his own and wanted to be Spider-Man two years ago and Mario last year. Well, I apparently brainwashed him sufficiently along the way because he picked, completely on his own (wink!), Batman this year. Back on track.












POW!












I just told him his muscles looked fake.

Springfield Discovery Center 2011: "Blinded With Science" Edition

I wish we had one of these at the house. We could probably cut our utility bill by a third. Despite all his rage he is still just a hamster in a wheel. Or something.









My granddad always used to say something like "count no day lost when you've learned something." I wish I could say that's what was happening here. I honestly think we were just trying to break this thing.












This thing was fascinating in so many ways, but the most fascinating was that none of us ended up chipping a tooth.









The amazing thing is that he was just as accurate as predicting the weather as the guys who do this for a living.









Meteorologists. HA!









Look, I love the kid, but his sense of Mise-en-scene is atrocious.









Kids these days are so jaded. So cynical. I tried desperately to convince him that these bones were real. He wasn't having it. "They're plastic, dad." It bummed me out.









Then I convinced him to drink out of a toilet/water fountain. And all was right with the world.












Look at how much he wants to knock over this thing. He's scowling at me because I told him he couldn't break it yet. About 21 seconds after this photo was taken he slipped in his chair, bumped the table, and "accidentally" knocked it over. Hmmm.

Christmas 2011: "We Finally Found Our Camera Cord" Edition

After 3 months of frantic searching (well, one week of searching and 2 and 3/4 months of being quitters), I found our camera cord today. In the meantime, Christmas happened. The following three images pretty much sum it up. See if you can guess the theme. 1.









2.












3.









If you guessed "Christmas makes boys crazy," you win. Jefferson performed in his first Christmas program this year. He and his friends were wise men.









Here's a classic Jefferson move. Yeah, buddy. You found me and mom.









I'm not sure what this is, but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts it wasn't in the script.









I have no idea what's happening in this photo, but my best guess is that it has something to do with time travel.









This year Jefferson embraced two classic boyhood obsessions: Pokemon and Morrissey.












Want to know every minute detail about Bouffalant?!












I didn't either!












Jefferson was really taken with the Muppets after he saw the movie. It made me glad. Meme and Pawpaw got him this Muppet for Christmas. I think he ended up naming him "Jefferson 2."












Does anything say Christmas quite like bumper cars?









Me and this other dad had fun smashing into our boys.









You know, sometimes a photo comes along that perfectly crystallizes a moment in time. Is there an explanation for this? Probably. Do I know what it is? Haven't a clue. It's like reading the ingredients on a hot dog. You'll enjoy it more if you don't know. PS. One of these characters is an attorney.












Merry Christmas.