Birthday Four

Jefferson's birthday was January 18th. Just before his birthday, Jefferson discovered Star Wars. Honestly, what he discovered was lightsabers. Then he realized there was a story surrounding it. We'd reenacted the "severed arm" scene from Empire about 40 times in Target. Thus, there was no question about the theme. Note Don Cherry presiding over the affair in the background.









Yes, that is a 4 on that cupcake. Already? Really?!!









The technique ... impeccable.












We told him no presents until he'd eaten his cupcake. He inhaled it.









Prior to his discovery of lightsabers, all he talked about was this set of Mario guys. Look how surprised he is to get it. What a dummy.









He was so proud of it. Note: It's March and he's either broken or lost every figure.









Well, we got him the lightsabers.









Red and green.












Guess what I did that night ...









Epilogue: The Mom made Jefferson's Valentine box. Awesome, huh?

The Magic House 2011

The Magic House is most certainly an activity for an early morning or late afternoon in the middle of the week. Also, make sure that you go nowhere near a holiday of any sort. If you follow those guidelines The Magic House can be a not entirely terrible experience. Oh, the anticipation in line is outrageous.












The Magic House specializes in two things: 1. demonstrating scientific principles in fun, interactive exhibits and 2. demonstrating what humanity is like in a state of nature. This is the first thing.












This is both things. What you can't see in this photo is the sweet little girl at which Jefferson is viciously spraying water.









Hulk is strongest one there is.












This thing was cool. You stuff yarn balls in this hole ...









... and then they shoot out other holes at random. I think the scientific principle being demonstrated is "pick up this mess."









Honestly, I think the overarching scientific principle displayed at The Magic House is how the human immune system works.









I never want to see the video where the local investigative reporter goes in to reveal just how much E. coli is coating every single surface of this place.









This makes a big bubble around you. It sort of feels like the monster in an old horror film. As you lift the ring, the bubble closes in on you ... NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!












This is a full size, um, one of those things that, you know, makes an impression of your face or hand. It's a heckuvathing, whatever it's called.









Good save, buddy.

Nashville 2011

Jefferson has technically been to Nashville once before. Of course, he was in the Mom's belly at the time. He claims to not remember that trip, so we decided it was time to return. We arrived in time for lunch and went to one of our favorite places. At Monell's you sit at a table with strangers and pass to the left. The only problem was that they were still serving breakfast. Initial disappointment that we would not be eating the delicious fried chicken and fixins lunch was replaced with extreme joy at the breakfast spread. Biscuits and gravy, cinnamon rolls, cheese grits, corn pudding, hash browns, eggs, pancakes, and fried apples. Then the platter heaped with bacon, sausage and country ham arrived. Then they brought fried chicken! It was magical. Yes, I described a meal as magical.









We don't have any photos of us for this part of the trip because we have a strict family policy of no photos taken while grazing the trough. I will say that Jefferson ate as much the Mom. It was disgusting. After Monell's we went to what is easily the most touristy area of Nashville ... The District. The District is where every two-bit singer-songwriter trying to make it in country music warbles and crows. It's awful. It's also home of Hatch Show Print. They've been making rad prints via letterpress since the 1880s, including some iconic concert posters.








Jefferson was such a good boy in the store that the staff let him pick a free postcard from the rack seen on the right. The next stop was Third Man Records, which is the store/studio/concert venue operated by Jack White.









It's located in a, um, troubling neighborhood. You park either on the street (yikes!) or in one of the three (!) parking spaces within the fence surrounding the building. We were lucky enough to park in the fence. The store is about the size of an Amtrak sleeper room, but it was fun. We bought a live Conan O'Brien album (!) and got to see a disturbing machine in which monkeys play 45 seconds of a song. Jefferson spent all of our quarters.









The next morning we were the first patrons of the zoo.









We had to overcome some disagreement regarding which way to go first.









Stinkerbug picked "rock" so we went to the playground first. Then this snake ate him. Serves him right.












After escaping the snake, Jefferson conquered this dastardly alligator. Take that, stumpy!












Oh no! Revenge!









This is what you get when you tell Jefferson to stick his finger in the elephant's mouth and act like it hurts. What a ding-dong.









We had fun saying this guy looked like the Mom. Sometimes 2-Boyz gang up on Mom.












This is in the middle of the meerkat habitat. To get to it, you had to go through something that looked like the crawlspace at my parents' old house. I sold it to the mom as a lovely bonding moment between mother and boy. Chump! I mean "Say 'cheese'!"









This is exactly what it looks like.









So is this.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

A few weeks ago Jefferson said something nasty about my wife and I responded by saying something rude about his mom. "Sir, I challenge you to a snowball fight. Do you accept my challenge?" It was on.









First he needed to taste the snow. Hmm.












Yep. Seems to be the proper consistency for a ripping good snowball fight.












We referred to Rule 13 of Code Duello:
No dumb shooting or firing in the air is admissible in any case. The challenger ought not to have challenged without receiving offense; and the challenged ought, if he gave offense, to have made an apology before he came on the ground; therefore, children's play must be dishonorable on one side or the other, and is accordingly prohibited.










Rule 22 says:
Any wound sufficient to agitate the nerves and necessarily make the hand shake, must end the business for that day.










So we went back in, ate cookies, and resolved to never let a woman come between us again.

Christmas!!

Ah, Christmas Eve. Santa has used misdirection, leaving the okay presents in the front and the DS hidden under the tree skirt. We got the idea from the Old Man (note the TV).












Check it out. The little detective found the "evidence." Kids are dumb.









In a Christmas tradition that some find a little strange, Jefferson does his annual Mick Jagger impersonation.












Something about this felt like the moment at which the present and the future met.

Pizza Dough (non-Mario, literal edition)!!

Sometimes we make pizza. It always makes me think of the Seinfeld in which Kramer brings a bag of bagels to Jerry and says: "It felt so good to get my hands back in the dough." Horrified, Jerry says: "Your hands were in the dough ..?"












He doesn't use as much profanity as I do when his dough tears. He projects calm.












Calm. Calm with a touch of insanity.












The finished product was sort of amazing looking.









I'm the last one to toot a horn, but mine looked pretty decent too.

Pizza dough!!

When Jefferson had no free will, I was happy to pick his costume for him. It's no secret that I planned to dress him as the entire Justice League (minus Wonder Woman) by the time he was 6. Well, I gave up on that last year when he picked Spider-Man. Although Spider-Man is a Marvel character, he is still in the superhero milleu. Well, we found ourselves in new territory this year. Oh, yeah, Mario time.










He talked me into being Luigi, but we got the costume home and it was obscene looking. It was certainly not appropriate for the G-rated confines of trick-or-treating at the mall. So I threw on the hat and mustache off we went.









Anyone familiar with Mario can see that I'm jumping to hit a question mark block and Jefferson is throwing a fireball. Of course.












Walking around the mall was sort of hilarious. Kids would point at me and say "Hey look! Luigi." Could I look less like Luigi? In any event: Look out, Bowser.