Nashville (November 2013): "Green Swamp Juice" Edition

We wanted to do something special for Christmas this year. We hit the road for Nashville.












Country breakfast at Monell's is my favorite meal at any restaurant in any city. For $15, they bring out sausage, bacon, biscuits and gravy, country ham, fried apples, pancakes, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, cheese grits, and corn pudding. Then they bring out the fried chicken. Fried chicken. For breakfast!

We went to Dave and Busters for the first time. Jefferson went bananas. He found this game where you try to throw a ball into a wide mouth milk jug. It was darned near impossible, but even you missed the milk jug, you still got a ton of tickets. This was enough tickets to buy a kazoo.

We'd never stayed at the Opryland Hotel before. It is nuts. There are waterfalls. There's a river. There are restaurants, shops, a gelateria, a couple of coffee shops, and a TON of rednecks. Like this one.

This Christmas tree was extraordinary. Jefferson visited the nearby Santa, who, after Jefferson recited his list, broke character and asked us: "You get all that?"

One of the things included in our package was a scavenger hunt. There were 15 clues and it took us 2 hours. The final thing was Jack Frost's staff. Look at how proud that goober is!

Our package also included tickets to ICE, an exhibit featuring 2 million pounds of ice carved into stuff. This year's theme was the old Frosty cartoon. It's 8 degrees in there. They supply you with a vermin-ridden calf-length parka. I was itching for days after. Psychosomatic, I'm sure. But still.

It was all pretty incredible.

The ice slide was fun, but we got freezer burn on our butts.

This was amazing, but you know what they say about the yellow snow ...

We took a carriage ride around Opryland and it was beautiful, but windy and absolutely freezing cold.

But little buddy smiled all the way through it.

After the freezing cold carriage ride, we did what any excellent parents would do. We fed our child ice cream.

The final feature of our hotel package was the Shrek Feast, a Shrek themed breakfast buffet. They served disgusting green juice and had a green chocolate waterfall, but the rest of the food was actually pretty tasty.

Nightmare fuel.

Shrek's mouth and dead eyes never moved. The woman talked and led him around. Jefferson, as usual, not totally buying it. 

Merry Christmas everyone!

Hunstville, AL (July 2013): "Why do they call it Rocket City?" Edition

Once we got back from Florida, we asked Jefferson what he wanted to learn this summer. He said "space." And, brother, he learned about space. As a reward, we took him to the US Space and Rocket Center in Hunstville, AL. This the view from our hotel window.










When you're a kid, there are museums and there are MUSEUMS!!!! This is the latter. There is a ton of stuff for kids to do. Stuff to climb.

Stuff to click.












Stuff to ... ???

Jefferson announced that he's going to Space Camp when he's 9 or 14.









The rocket park was excellent.











The scale of these rockets is incredible.
 










We saw a Saturn V in Florida and it was astonishing. When we found out there was one only 6 hours away, we had to go see it. It's as tall as a 36 story building. The engines are enormous. These were purpose built to go to the moon. I know we're amazed what our smart phones can do, but think about this: people walked on the moon. There was a time when going to the moon was something that seemed impossible. Then they did it. With this!










Jefferson got to climb in the Mercury simulator. The Mercury astronauts said you don't ride it so much as wear it.












Looks good on him!










We both got in the Apollo trainer. It's a little cramped in there.










Alan Bean is one of my favorite Apollo astronauts. The Apollo 12 episode of From the Earth to the Moon is my favorite (Alan Bean is portrayed by Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall). His story is so compelling. He wrote the inscription below this moon rock.












This is the Apollo 16 capsule which took John Young, Ken Mattingly, and Charlie Duke to the moon and back. We saw Apollo 12 in Virginia a few years ago and Apollo 14 in Florida. Three down. Look out Hutchinson, Kansas. You're next.












If you go the Space and Rocket center, pay the extra $12 for the bus tour of the Marshall Space Flight center. You see incredible things. They take you to the International Space Center Payload Operations Center. They don't announce it, but you might meet an astronaut. We did!
 










The tour stops at the historic Redstone Test Stand.












This is the bunker where Wernher von Braun would observe the rocket tests.










This is the other side. Listen, if you want a kick, ask Jefferson who Wernher von Braun was. He knows. And it's hilarious.










Well, you can't leave Hunstville without paying respects to Miss Baker, one of the heroic monkeys that was sent into space. She lived a long life after her service in space. People leave bananas at her grave. I can't tell if Jefferson is being respectful or thinking about stealing a banana.

Disney Trip (May 23, 2013): "Again! Again!" Edition

We were at Disney on the Wednesday and Thursday before Memorial Day weekend. On Wednesday we didn't wait longer than 5 minutes to ride anything at Magic Kingdom. As soon as we got off the monorail on Thursday, we could tell that the crowd level was DRAMATICALLY higher. So we burned through Day 2 of the Unofficial Guide touring plan (Space Mountain was fun, but a little scary. Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor was incredible! They told Jefferson's joke!) and bailed for Hollywood Studios.












We hadn't initially planned to go to Hollywood Studios. We didn't think we'd have time. We were so glad we went! Since everyone was at Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios was deserted (by comparison).

We went to guest services to make dinner reservations at the Hollywood Brown Derby. The clerk offered us a time and I mentioned we might want to go later since we were planning to go stand in line at Toy Story Mania for 65 minutes (Fastpasses were gone by the time we got there). She said: "Well ... I want you guys to have a great day here today." She pulled a pad out of her desk and wrote us a Fastpass for Toy Story Mania, which was an extraordinary act of kindness! The ride was 100% all it was built up to be.

There's Toy Story stuff scattered all over this place!

Pizza Planet!












Ok. After we rode Toy Story Mania we decided to ride Tower of Terror. On the way to this monstrosity, Jefferson started psyching himself out. "Oh man. This is going to be terrible." That sort of thing. It was all very familiar. I started having 1979 Haunted Mansion flashbacks. Anyway, just before the elevator car went into the drop shaft, he started sobbing. During one of the drops he screamed: "I HATE THIS RIDE!!!!" I hated it too. The photo for sale at the end of the ride featured me and mom leaning over consoling our little buddy. The other riders were so kind, joining in to console him. Well, one frozen lemonade and one build-your-own-lightsaber later and we were back in business.

There was a ton of Star Wars stuff. 

Jefferson got back on the horse at Star Tours, which was absolutely incredible. We rode it three times in a row and the adventure scenes were different every time. Two of the three times the rebel spy shown on the screen was mom! After the third trip, Jefferson built his own droid.

The Star Wars stuff was the perfect antidote to the trauma inflicted by Tower of Terror. In its own way, it performed a "These aren't the droids you're looking for" Jedi mind trick on Jefferson. And his journey into Star Wars fandom is complete. PS: He said "I'm prisoner ... kick me dad!"

Muppet Vision 3D was excellent!

We ordered the world famous Cobb Salad at the Brown Derby and it was delicious. We posed for caricatures to be hung on the wall. They didn't go for it.

It was 91 degrees and these guys were incredible sports, playing with Jefferson and poking fun at him.

Dad gum! Hollywood Studios was great!

We wanted to say goodbye to Magic Kingdom and saved Dumbo and Mad Tea Party for just that purpose. Look at how sweaty and done with it all we are!

We had an absolutely wonderful time. The Mouse opened his mouth and we joyfully crammed our money in. And we're so glad we did! Bye Disney.